Sunday, 22 November 2015

Visiting Mum in the Chapel of Rest

In the timey whimey way thoughts are coming to me I thought I'd write about the day before Mum's funeral. I'd taken the afternoon off, the weather was horrible, heavy rain. We set off for the funeral director's at about 2.40pm and just about found some where to park. We had to wait for a short time whilst another family left and things were prepared. The Chapel of Rest itself was not what I expected it was respectful enough but not the quietest of atmospheres(essentially just a small side room near their office) it's amazing how little tv and film coverage of death doesn't prepare you for the realities of it. 

We'd been warned that there would be some colourising of Mum's face as it was nearly a month since she'd died. Weirdly this only made her look more alive than the day of her death but the wrinkles and dryness of her hands showed the effects of death, I've probably seen one too many zombie films but honestly she looked so good I expected her to wake up any moment! 

Back to the events of the day, we sat quietly for a few short mins looking at mum then Dad said we should say the Lord's Prayer and say goodbye to her. Dad then had a conversation with the son of the funeral director who was clearly far less organised than his dad and it took  a phone conversation that evening to really get things sorted for the funeral the next day. So there you have it, death not what you expect and nothing prepares you for it.

Written on 22nd November 2015.


Thursday, 19 November 2015

Mum's Funeral

Mum's Funeral

I thought I'd write a few words about today whilst it's still fresh in my mind. The cars arrived at our house a few mins early, but we were soon on our way. Light rain greeted us which became heavy briefly during the service.

Once we'd taken our seats and the had vicar said a few opening words we sang a reassuringly traditional hymn, I won't list the full service here but for me the most memorable part was a moving description of Mum's life delivered by Reverend Lorna Dazeley. I was moved almost to tears hearing everything mum had contributed to the area especially the community associated with the church.

The service lasted about forty minutes and afterwards a few of us headed to the local Cremitorium where Lorna kindly said a few words in a very brief service. We'd taken the the scenic route to the Crem to avoid traffic but even then were delayed slightly by some police activity their helicopter was above us and it appeared some asylum seekers may have escaped from a facility nearby.

The city fathers in all their wisdom placed Cambridge Cremitorium next to the busy A14 but thankfully the traffic noise isn't noticeable once on the chapel.

We then headed back for refreshments at the church hall nearby to where the main service had taken place, there was a good turn out including one lady who'd worn a scarf knitted by mum to the service.

Also present was Mum's brother Uncle Ted who we promised to try and visit when we can. There was many a familiar face in the room partly because in the dim and distant past I'd attended the church myself. A few of them greeted us and we had some short chats before the crowd one by one slowly melted away.

We’ll never forget you mum and I'm sure we did you proud today.

Additional memories: As Mum's coffin was taken into the church Sultans of Swing by Dire Straits could be heard spilling out into the road from a nearby house. Also as we headed off to the Crem a passerby a total stranger lowered the hood of his coat in respect despite today's inclement weather.

Written on 19th November 2015



Sunday, 25 October 2015

Mum's Gone

Mum's Gone

The 23rd October started ordinarily enough, I didn't see mum that morning. According to Dad at breakfast she was "not at all well" she'd normally not get up till after I'd left for work at 7.30am but I didn't even see the usual sight of her waving me goodbye.

The morning at work passed without incident then the afternoon began, I ate lunch then began work as normal then at 1306 suddenly noticed a missed call on my phone. My first thought was Dad calling to say mum had been rushed to hospital.

I headed for the lift as our building hates mobile phone signals so the top floor was best in order to ring dad back. At first I couldn't get through and kept getting a recorded message about the line being busy, then I got through and heard the horrible news my mum Daphne Drury had died little more than an hour ago.

I rapidly managed to find one of my bosses and Kate another work colleague offered to to drive me home, thankfully she owns an estate car so there was room for my bike too.

When I arrived home Dad related the events of the morning, concerned about Mum's health he'd rung our GP whose main advice at this point was that she have something to eat so he made some toast and cut it into small slices. She'd eaten this and he'd asked if she wanted a drink and he made them both a coffee, she sipped at the coffee though still not herself otherwise seemed fine as she even asked him to ring a friend as she'd not be able to go the church flower arranging group this week. Then suddenly she was gasping for air and couldn't breathe, dad is retired electrical engineer so knows artificial respiration well, he also at this point rang the GP again who immediacy told him to call the emergency services. So he hung up and dialled 999, the ambulance arrived in just five minutes and the paramedics took over trying to revive mum. They worked on her for an hour but there was nothing they could do.

After I arrived home the afternoon seemed to go on forever with a steady stream of officialdom, the paramedics were not allowed to leave until the police arrived in the shape of a friendly WPC who slowly but carefully took us through the sudden death paperwork. Whilst she was here the undertakers showed up, a local firm hired by the police to take Mum's body to the local morge. They managed to remove Mum's jewellery and left quietly with her body whilst the lengthy task of the paperwork continued. Finally the WPC had finished, packed up her computer and left and I felt able to cry, not a big blub but it was an emotional release.

Everything as I write this still feels so up in the air, Mum's body is currently in the hands of the coroner's office. Having died on a Friday we can't ring them till tomorrow(Monday) to find out what's happening next, the funeral directors left dad with a booklet full of information to help with planning the ceremony all I know so far is that it will be held at St. Andrew's Church Chesterton where dad has been singing in the choir for several years and both him mum have helped the church in other ways such as mum being in the flower group for a long time.

As a postscript to the above back in 1994 it had been preying on Mum’s mind that the local war memorial at church didn’t contain a list of the fallen. So almost single handedly with the help of the Commonwealth War Graves Commission she compiled the list  and raised the funds necessary to create the nameplate for future generations. It says a lot about mum that apart from some local media coverage at the time she’s received little credit for this as far as she was concerned it was just something that needed to be done.

Photos:

An old one of mum taken at a dinner party a few years ago, as you might be able to tell she wasn't a big fan of having her photo taken.

The local war memorial at St. Andrew's Church Chesterton, name plate researched, fund raised for and organised by my mum.



Saturday, 7 March 2015

Doctor Who:Midnight review written back in 2008

Doctor Who:Midnight Review

2008-06-14 19:03:41

I've just finished watching the Dr Who equivilent of four characters locked in a lift. A story with one set and one location, and relieing entirly on it's acting and it's writing. I was impressed by this episode but as usual with Russel T's writing I'm sure as the story is picked over by fans plenty of faults will be found. I've read the actors were all given a rare chance to rehease and it certainly needed that. Gripping ceratinly and also brave to transmit something so minimal at peak time on a Saturday. Can't think of anything else to say, but for once I did spot the Rose cameo.

Nothing more to add, so cheers for now Tim.


Review of movie The Incredible Hulk I wrote back in 2008

"The Incredible Hulk" Review

2008-06-14 16:38:48

Maybe it's because I fell asleep in the cinema but this film came across as one almost continuous action sequence. I have a feeling it's possible to make a good film of the Hulk but sadly Hollywood has yet to find the right combination of intelligent script and action. On the plus side the acting and cast were excellent with praise as ever towards Ed Norton who did his best with his troubled soul of a role. The effects also were of note but I have to agree with some callers to BBC Radio Five Live, that the 70s TV show with a guy painted green gave you a bit more to relate to. Overall then worth seeing for the action, but try to leave your brain at the door, unlike the Ang Lee attempt at this franchise your not going to need it.

Nothing more to add, so cheers for now Tim.


Review of Doctor Who:Last of The Timelords I wrote back in 2007

Doctor Who "The Last of the Timelords" Review.

2007-06-30 19:40:05

You can see where any money saved on cheaper episodes this year was spend because this episode was epic no other word for it. I'd suspected it might be Martha's episode but thankfully both stars shared the limelight in the longest and most visually spectacular episode since the show returned. The Master has been running the Earth for a year preparing for war with the universe, but it's a year the Doctor has had to prepare for victory. Martha has been preparing too, traveling the world spreading the word that only the Doctor can save them from the Master's rule. Jack too gets his moments to shine mostly near the end of the story. It was certainly good to see the TARDIS back to normal and the Doctor able to sit in it again. I normally find two parters uneven with one strong and one weaker episode but this one has been pretty consistent. It's a sad end for the doc though with the Master seemingly dead and Martha leaving him, but the door has certainly been left open for her to return to some extent next year. The Christmas special this year looks promising already with this episode ending with the TARDIS crashing into The Titanic. It's been a consistently good series this year lets just hope those 180 odd days to Christmas don't pass too slowly.

Cheers for now Tim



Big Fish DVD Review, written in 2006 recently rescued from the Bebo.com archive

2006-08-20 16:24:49


Just finished watching the DVD of Tim Burton's "Big Fish" this is a strange film and not easy to describe the plot but basically it's about a man on his death bed recounting his life to his son. The man played by Albert Finney likes to embelish his life with fantasies to make it more interesting, this frustrates his son who is trying to find out the truth after hearing these embelished stories for years. You may not have heard of this film as it came out three years ago and didn't exactly set the box office on fire but its very interesting to watch and full of Burtonesque signiture moments such as a very spooky forrest that leads to a mystical town where no one wears shoes and all vistors shoes are stolen in an attempt to stop them leaving. Not much more to add to this blog other than to say I listened to the Doctor Who Audio book "The Stone Rose" this morning, I was very impressed with this and will be buying the other recently released who audio books.

Cheers for Now. Tim.